Pakso Paskiw

It's only been about an hour after the Noche Buena following the Misa de Gallo, and the traditional raiding of the Christmas tree for presents. I still hear some movement upstairs as my parents, my Tabachoy sister, and my adorable niece Jasmine get ready to sleep. I, on the other hand, am still down here typing away on my laptop and editing photos taken on my sister's new digicam (I was just semi-bitching about how the settings were messed up when she loaned it to her in-laws, and that now I'm going to have to fix all photos in Photoshop [which I normally do anyway, hehehe]).

I stood up (but not without having to disconnect the dratted dial-up internet connection [God knows my mother's going to wig out once she sees our telephone bill] and saving the draft of this blog entry in Microsoft Word) to grab something to eat. Yes, I know. It's ONLY been barely an hour and a half from our last meal...but I was busy taking pictures and serving plates, so I'm not exactly full. Grabbed two bundles of suman and dinuguan, and briefly considered getting a small helping of arroz valenciana, Chinese ham, and quezo de bola.

As I prop my feet on the center table in the living room, my laptop idling in hibernate mode by the couch, the Christmas lights randomly blinking, and I nonchalantly wolfing down the suman dunked in the sinful dinuguan, I look around and see that the foot of our Christmas tree, which used to be chock-full with boxes and bags and envelopes of presents, is now almost bare (save for the remaining gifts for godchildren that might visit later today). It felt a little bit somber and a little bit nostalgic, but nevertheless heart-warming.

Earlier last night at the Christmas mass, the priest said something in his homily that made perfect sense. According to him, we Filipinos seem to be totally "hysterically excited" about the coming of Christmas: come September 1st, we start playing carols on the radio alredy; we start doing a countdown to Christmas; and we almost immediately start our Christmas shopping (and still end up doing last-minute panic-buying). Likewise, during the Christmas season, the Jackson 5 hit "Give Love on Christmas Day" seem to have an immortalization, i.e. people seem to be, well, kinder and nicer. We try and forgive or make peace with people that we've hurt or have hurt us; we invite almost-strangers into our homes and offer them at least a bite or a drink; we reconnect with people (especially relatives) that we practically ignored the entire year; and we take time to make other people's days. But right after Christmas (sometimes not even allowing the last of the observance of The Epiphany pass), we seem to revert to our old selves: grumpy, snobbish, self-righteous/-centered, insensitive, and mean. Why is that?


Is there a "Christmas dust" that goes with the cold breeze of the 'ber months that seem to soften us and turn us into better people? Are we like wind-up toys that will only set into motion upon getting wound up and pushed to animation? Do we really need Christmas to actually make us better, nicer, kinder, more humane people? Can we not hold on to the brimming feeling of love and kindness and generosity and optimism, and then nurture it within our hearts throughout the coming year and the next?

They say that Christmas is just for kids these days. It's actually them who will be waking up early later on today, dressing up in their newly-bought clothes, tagging along their parents and guardians to go with them to visit their godparents, and hopefully get heaps and heaps of crisp peso (or dollar/yen/euro!) bills as aguinaldo. No wonder children "own" this holiday. It is during this time of the year that they feel that there are other people that love them, care about them, and that will watch over them. Who woudln't want that?

Obviously, I am way past the age when I'd be considered "a kid". But deep down, I wish I could have all of those things that children have: the love, caring, peace, and joy. This Christmas, there is nothing more that I want than peace of mind, patience, kindness, and lots and lots of love.

Joyeux Noël.