I was walking last night at Landmark--on my way to Gold's Gym, where I had to traverse from my office a walkway, a mall, and another mall (Landmark and Glorietta, respectively) just to get to it--when I saw a fine-looking lady of about 26 to 28 years of age wearing a bright and chic orange-to-almost-tangerine dress. She was walking slowly in front of me, that time by the bridgeway from Landmark to Glorietta where all the bakeshop and sale/promo items were--desperately squeezing herself, just like everyone else, in a crowd that was walking like tortoises in a mud of peanut butter. By the time we reached the end of the walkway, she impulsively made a 180 degree turn and [inadvertently] looked at me. Being the generous with compliments person that I am, I gave her a warm smile and said [something like], "Hi, your dress makes you even more beautiful than you already are." She continued looking at me for about 16 seconds more and then, as if what I just said felt like acid thrown at her face, rolled her eyes, made an almost-expectorating snort, and turned her back.
I was stunned. In that four seconds while she was doing her roll-snort-turn, I've already done a quick inventory of my appearance--did I have the looks of a sex-crazed maniac or did I look like a mugger? (I was wearing Banana Republic long-sleeves, decent slacks, a silk tie, and carrying my Old Navy backpack...I couldn't be either one!); deconstruction of my less than twenty words of a sentence to ensure I wasn't being too fresh or, worse, frighteningly deranged; and rethinking of my set of values, good manners, and overall kindness to people.
In our society and culture today, what ever happened to the concept of gratitude and appreciation? Didn't Emily Post, at some point, state it as imperative that we should, at the very least, say "Thank you" for a compliment that we receive from gracious people? Or, on the other end of the stick, be polite and generous insofar as giving sincere appreciation and praise? Did that die with her?
Guilty as charged, I have long chastised myself for being a skeptic, unappreciative, and ungrateful prick. Numerous were the times when I did fend off praises such as "What a stunning wardrobe you've got this evening" or "Is it just me or are you looking particularly handsome today?" or "You're so talented, I wish I were like you" with responses like "(snort) What do you want?!" or "Yeah, whatever!" or "Blech! Stop pulling my leg!"...when a simple "Thank you" would have been more appropriate, or simply enough.
Has history fucked us up big time that every compliment or praise we receive are treated like Trojan horses, which could not be taken at face value but that of a vested interest or hidden agenda? Or since when was saying "Thank you" for a compliment--be it bordering on flattery to a certain extent--considered as being too vainglorious or smug? It's a damned if I do, damned if I don't circumstance.People. Listen. I think--no, I believe--that we have at least the mental capacity to decipher whether a compliment is sincere or is just pure flattery. Genuine praise deserves a corresponding politness. Manners would dictate a simple "Thanks"...and perhaps a gratis smile to go with it. Wouldn't hurt, would it?
So what I did was I strode faster and caught up with orange-tangerine lady. I looked her in the eye and said in its Tagalog counterpart, "You know what, for a girl with a beautiful face, you have such an ugly, ugly character." And then I walked away.
NAH. I just let the bitch go. I still have MY manners.
