When I Lost and I Was Delighted.

August 25, 7:55PM. I took my body stats using the InBody machine at Anytime Fitness in Pioneer Center. What it showed me was a total heart-breaker: Body Fat Mass of 31.5lbs, Percent Body Fat of 19.6, Muscle Mass of 73.2lbs, and Segmental Fat/Trunk of 21% (over normal range).

It was with those figures that I decided to work on these damn-stubborn fats. The next day, I started intermittent fasting.

I chose the 10-hour eating window (i.e. 14-hour fast), missing breakfast -- knowing that this should be more manageable, considering I'd be asleep a few hours after the fasting period starts at 10pm.

Man, the next couple of days were harrowing. Just for reference, I had type 2 diabetes, and my body didn't really respond well to starvation (or just plain hunger) -- I'd get dizzy, weak, and at one point in the past, had fainting spells. So those things happened to me in the first 2 or 3 days, sans the fainting (thankfully). All I had during the fasting period were brewed coffee (say, a venti-sized cup), water....and lots of prayers!

I had to keep my mind occupied -- I went to more meetings than were necessary, I walked to and from cubicles just to keep me moving, and I worked on my tons of contracts to sign (a different story about that later!). All just so I wouldn't get focused on my hunger pangs.

My feeding time would supposedly start at 12nn -- but because of work, and some prep time needed for meals at home for lunch, I'd be able to eat by 1230pm...which makes it approximately 14.5hours fasting. Good job, Bentong. LOL

So I've done it for a while now, the dizziness and weakness got less and less. I noticed that whenever I'd eat (during feeding window), my stomach seem to be filled almost as soon as I put a moderate amount of food in my mouth -- as if it had shrunk because of the fasting. Don't get me wrong, I get hungry LIKE HELL during the feeding period. But I help myself ride these craving waves by drinking Javita Green Tea, lots of water, some more coffee, and when I've done my groceries prior, juices (e.g. my Slimer Drink: kale, kiwi, green apple and cucumber).

Tonight, I dared step on the InBody again. With a prayer and crossed fingers, the printout came out to these: Body Fat Mass of 29lbs, Percent Body Fat of 18, Muscle Mass of 75.6lbs, and Segmental Fat/Trunk of 19.5% (normal range).

I lost. And I was delighted. 

There's still a long way to go to get to Percent Body Fat of 14-15. But, hey, it's still three months till my Bali trip. So, here's to more juicing, coffee and green tea. And lots of hip-hop classes.

How to Fall In Love With Anyone

Three years ago, The New York Times published an article called "The 36 Questions That Lead to Love." This was based on a modern love essay by Mandy Len Catron (“To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This”) and a study by psychologist Arthur Aron, which explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions -- thus these 36 questions.

Some of the questions are rather interesting, some thought-provoking, while others so-so. I've pre-selected some of my favorites, and I'll answer them here as candidly and unpretentiously as possible.

1. GIVEN THE CHOICE OF ANYONE IN THE WORLD, WHOM WOULD YOU WANT AS A DINNER GUEST?  
>> Barack and Michelle Obama

2. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FAMOUS? IN WHAT WAY? 
>> Yes, Like being part of a team that'd discover a permanent cure for illnesses like HIV or diabetes or cancers.

3. WHAT WOULD CONSTITUTE A “PERFECT” DAY FOR YOU? 
>> Quality time with my loved one/s (be it family, friend or significant other), enjoying the moment, having a good meal or drinks and laughing heartily, with no care for any worries of the world.

4. IF YOU WERE ABLE TO LIVE TO THE AGE OF 90 AND RETAIN EITHER THE MIND OR BODY OF A 30-YEAR-OLD FOR THE LAST 60 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, WHICH WOULD YOU WANT? 
>> Retain the body -- so I can still be strong enough to explore and make new memories.

5. DO YOU HAVE A SECRET HUNCH ABOUT HOW YOU WILL DIE?

>> Either a heart attack, a stray bullet, or the adult counterpart of SIDS

6. FOR WHAT IN YOUR LIFE DO YOU FEEL MOST GRATEFUL?
>> That at my age, I am able to see the world, live comfortably, have a healthy body, meet amazing people, see my family happy, and be respected for my skills and talents.

7. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU WERE RAISED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

>> Not being able to reason out with adults and most authority figures, that all we are expected to do was say yes and be obedient no matter what.

8. IF YOU COULD WAKE UP TOMORROW HAVING GAINED ANY ONE QUALITY OR ABILITY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

>> The ability to fast-forward in time to see how a decision I'll make in the present would turn out, so I'd be better forewarned.

9. WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN A FRIENDSHIP?

>> Reliability, trustworthiness, fairness/impartiality, genuine concern, and respect for my time.

10. IF YOU KNEW THAT IN ONE YEAR YOU WOULD DIE SUDDENLY, WOULD YOU CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU ARE NOW LIVING? WHY?

>> I will update my Last Will and Testament, ensure that when I die, nobody will be inconvenienced/hassled; and I will book trips to Peru, Egypt, Jordan, Norway/Iceland, Africa, and as many countries I could visit with my savings. And hopefully with my partner. :)

11. WHAT, IF ANYTHING, IS TOO SERIOUS TO BE JOKED ABOUT?

>> Rape. Child molestation/prostitution. Suicide. Other people's physical flaws.

12. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER?

>> I'm a self-proclaimed Mama's Boy. I love my mom to pieces and I will move heaven and earth to make her happy (and proud of me).

13. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON?

>> Yesterday, when someone was telling me that I was one of the most selfless and helpful person that she's worked with, and that she can't wrap her head around the idea of me leaving.

14. COMPLETE THIS SENTENCE: “I WISH I HAD SOMEONE WITH WHOM I COULD SHARE ... “

>> my happiness, and all the love I can give.

-------------

What are YOUR answers? I'm interested to find out 😉

The Whats of Musings from "The Hows of Us"

Disclaimer: I didn't watch the movie. I prolly won't watch it alongside a gazillion shrieking fans (my officemates and staffs included) in theaters, and will most likely watch it in my uBox android TV box in the comfort of my LaZBoy one of these days.

So there I was earlier tonight scrolling through my Facebook feed, and while waiting to fall asleep and get to 100% battery charge (I didn't want to leave my phone plugged while I sleep so I keep it fully-charged before snoozing), I came across a few promo photos of "hugot musings" from the movie (I assume) from the production house. Without permission from the owner (hehe) here are those pics:

1. 

2. 

3. 

4. 

Let's "counter-muse" on these hugot-musings. 

1.  Well, it's not a contest. Does it matter? I left you because there was a valid reason. It's not something that I assiduously and viciously pre-planned. And in saying that, it goes without saying that hurting you (when I left you) was not the primary intention. If at all, the pain was just an incidental. Like we both went to a -- hopefully not hysterical or violent -- "war" and we were both casualties. That if I stayed, it may only mean more pain for you...and quite possibly for me as well. Can't we just leave it at that, i.e. we are both hurting. The intensity of the pain -- on who's hurting more -- is inconsequential.

2.  You just do. To begin with, it was your choice to allow someone to break you. You've made your bed, so now you must lie on it. Ride the waves of emotions -- don't bottle things up. Follow the Kubler Ross Stages of Grief:  Denial - Anger - Bargaining - Depression - Acceptance. And then move on. No, I never said anything about it being a walk in the park. Or that it was going to be swift. By all means take your sweet time. Take a break, introspect, heal, be whole and strong again. Remember that your battle scars are what'll make you strong(er). Learn from your previous "brokenness". 

3.  It's related to #2. Nobody can ruin your dreams unless you let them. You're playing the victim card in saying that they ruined your dreams. It's YOUR dreams, so only YOU get to call the shots as to when, how and why YOUR dreams end. On the matter of still being able to love that person again after you've ALLOWED him to ruin YOUR dreams, I have one word for you when you do: IDIOT. Letting him back into your life in any relationship level more than civil-coexistence is really a form of lunacy: as if you never learned anything from it. Remember that a battered wife goes through this insane repetitive mobius strip of a cycle of pain that she can't seem to get out of...only because she feels helpless. Don't be that person. Rise above it. Co-exist...and do not exist just for or because of him. Know your worth. YOU control YOUR fate.

4.  Sparks WILL fade and promises MAY BE broken over time. These are as inevitable as death or rain on monsoon season will ever be. But remember: it's not "the" love that you choose; rather it's the person (and what you do with him [and him to you]) that you do. Love has become this overrated, touchy-feely abstract concept that we seem to hyperbolize and treat as an end-all, be-all matter. Love, in any relationship, shouldn't be viewed as merely the FEELING. It is the DOING that should matter. It's more than a noun/thing; it's an action word. There is nothing you can do about the noun, but a whole myriad of possibilities of actions for the verb. When the initial thrill of the "kilig" and anticipation and giggles from the first few dates, hour-long conversations, incessant instant messages and mind-boggling sex start to fade, there is nothing that you can NOT do to keep being with the person who gave you all that initial thrill. Break the old routine, make new memories, explore other possibilities, bring down dated barriers, experiment and have fun in new/other ways. The possibilities are endless. You BOTH work together to make the noun of LOVE work into what you've dreamed it to be. You BOTH exert effort in making it work, saving your relationship. Or you go to item #1.

Now, here's my own hugot musing: When you're fucking hungry and you realize it's way past your feeding window because of intermittent fasting, do you grab that Snickers bar or cry yourself to sleep? 😆

Revival

More than a decade ago, I was a prolific blogger -- writing two or three blogs a day. A DAY. You'd be like, "Does this loser actually have anything else to do other than kvetch?"

I had a full-time job back then (in an insurance company). Well, I still do now -- though not for long (that's a new blog altogether). Let's just say that back then, I used to find time -- no, MAKE TIME -- for blogging. Be it early morning before my work schedule started; during coffee breaks; right after work, while waiting for traffic to let up; or while waiting in a coffee shop.

2009 was my last post. And the next two (2011, 2013) practically don't count -- because they were merely just to test the new format of app-based blogging...which I didn't really like. Nothing beats typing away on my laptop while trying to catch up with the speed of my brain's musings.

So, here we are now. Back to blogging. Again. Let's see if I can keep up. After all, I will have more time in my hands again soon.