An acquaintance posted this blog somewhere:
Dinner, Movie, Coffee, Sex...in that order. That's how some people define dating. You start out by having dinner then later on watch a movie then afterwards, coffee and if everything goes well, the next step is to have sex. And I would wonder.. what happened to the real dating?
Are we so much in a hurry these days that we have forgotten to stop and know our date well before jumping into bed? Or is it because of the fact that our world has been so competitive that we need to find out sooner than later if things would work out - sexually. If you like the person so much on your first date, would you rather end it with a kiss or with a phallus in your mouth? Would you rather want to find out sexual compatability at an early stage? Should you decide to postpone having sex with your date and decides [sic] to know him better, would this mean that you are risking "sexual compatibility"? And when do you know that there is a "spark"? Is it when you know you are sexually compatible?
If sex is that important, why don't we start skipping dinner, movie and coffee?
This was my reply.
I have, at several occasions stopped at coffee. Not even a kiss. But at certain instances, it was dinner, no movie, no coffee, and then sex. That even saved me movie tickets and caffeine overload.
Did I feel wrong? Well, not really. For me, it's nothing moral or ideal or anything on that line. At this time and age of instant coffee and noodle soup, where everything is Google-able and retrievable with a push of a button, sex proves no exception.
Right now, it is more of just taking things--in this case, a date--in stride: i.e. by letting it take its own sweet course. For me, as long as it isn't forced or maliciously premeditated (ergo, is spontaneous, and a by-product of energy, passion, and strong attraction), I say sex on the first date is actually a good thing...particularly that fleeting moment of awkwardness or self-consciousness when both are at their most vulnerable. I believe, it is at that point when you get a peek at the person's true countenance.
At the end of the day, it's all a matter of preference...and mutual agreement. After all, it takes two to tango.
1 comment:
[My reply]:
I could skip coffee, and the movie (considering my date would likely have a completely different taste for movies). Sometimes I can even skip the dinner part. I'm not saying sex is necessary on a first date. But anything that breaks the ice is good.
The bad side here is that a date could turn out as just a one night stand after the sex. It's happened to me, yeah. But at least I found out that the guy wasn't a candidate for a long-term compatibility.
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