Ayyyy, Mamma!

This movie by writer Johnson and director Lloyd (both are women, ahem) is utterly kitschy, superfluously song-and-dance-y, ultra-cheesy, unquestionably clichéd, and almost a wee bit predictable.

I LOVE IT.

I was approaching my 450th calorie count on the Elliptical when the sloth bug bit me hard in the arse. It hit me: after a long harrowing day spattered with three resignations in the office, I totally deserved something more enjoyable than two hours of running, huffing-and-puffing, cycling, weight-lifting and stretching. On 448.6 calories, my fingers started hysterically typing away on my phone, ransacking the contacts list on which ones would want to catch a movie--either Hancock (whose lifespan in the cinemas is about to expire) or Mamma Mia! By 473.4 calories, I have gotten my sixth declination. I figured I could only take so much rejection, so I haphazardly pounded on the Reset button of the damned machine and headed to the locker. Just as I was entering, my buddy Jao came popping out of one of the doors. I asked him if he fancied a movie over the crazy heat at the gym--seeing that he was just about ready to start his workout. Luck was on my side. He was keen on getting a Get Out of Jail card himself. So we hit the shower and got the hell out of the gym and headed to the cinemas.

After withstanding the absurdly long queues at both the box office and the takeout counter of Burger King, we finally got inside the cinema, missing the first 5 minutes or so. Honey, Honey was already playing--apparently Sophie's already gotten hold of her mother Donna's diary and had shared it with her girlfriends already. Nothing major missed out anyhow.

Mamma Mia!, to the completely clueless, is originally a musical based on the songs of Swedish pop group ABBA. Having said that, need I say more about the references to age, and era? Uh-uh. You shut your mouth or I'll tell you where to put it!

The movie version was pretty loyal to the musical, I must say, considering all the theatrical and stage limitations. Veterans Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Julie Walters gave totally stellar performances--and mind you, the singing and dancing weren't exactly mediocre. You would expect something Dolphy-ish or Tito Vic and Joey-ish from these otherwise po-faced icons in the movie industry, but you'd be so astounded by their vocal prowess and terpsichorean abilities as they literally let their hairs down...and get donned in spandex and besequinned outfits.

The songs, aside from being almost seemlessly woven into the storyline, were nostalgic of a glorious age otherwise known as youth...and a whole bunch of people in the cinema were actually heard mumbling and singing along to Dancing Queen, Voulez-vous, SOS, The Winner Takes it All, and Money Money Money, among others.

The set was perfect. The rustic Greek locale where it was shot in its entirety oozed of beauty, tranquility, simplicity and unpretentiousness. The costumes--and even the lack of it on a lot of scenes--fit everyone very well...and I wasn't referring to how it drops on their shoulders like they were mannequins, but how it was effortless for everyone wearing their characters. The lighting, the decorations, the paints used, the rocks...hell, everything on the set was just facile. Just wait for the final scene where Sky and Sophia leave in a motorized boat to the tune of I Have a Dream, and tell me if it does not take your breath away with its sheer celestial aura.

Will I recommend this movie to people? Hell, yes...whether you grew listening to ABBA songs or its remakes, or you just want to see newcomer Amanda Seyfried (amazing voice) or hunk Dominic Cooper (hate him and his V-cuts and absence of fat albeit being already thirty years old). I must tell you, Meryl Streep's splits in mid-air, or Pierce Brosnan's belting SOS, or the breath-taking scenery alone should at least entice you to watch it on the big screen. Oh, yes. If you must insist on getting it on those damned pirated DVDs, at least watch it on a 42-inch flat screen TV with matching stereo surround and major subwoofers. It's well-worth it.

Now, imagine the Philippines making more movies like this instead of artificial comedies with grudgingly corny and cheesy musical song and dance numbers for fillers, and having veteran (and up-and-coming) actors who could really sing and dance (uhm...talent?).................[end of dream sequence]