Crunch Time

At two minutes past midnight, with the sound of the still leaking faucet on my just-guzzled glass of low fat milk in the background, I stare at the wedding invitation program printout on my lap. I am hosting a monumental wedding in two weeks to be held at the grand ballroom of the Westin Philippine Plaza, with none other than the President herself as the guest of honor. I met with the wedding coordinator over a cup of tall Frappucino at around 7pm at the 6750 to discuss some of the requirements, as well as to get the 50% downpayment for my hosting fee (I am so going shopping for a suit tomorrow!!!). Before we parted ways, with all the new literature (i.e. receiving copy of check, wedding program, floor plan/seating chart, contract, and some checklists) in my hand, the coordinator reminded me to email to her the script that I was going to be using for the wedding. Apparently, the bride's father wanted to make sure that whatever I will be saying would be sanitized. Geesh. So much for a "Hello, Garci" opening to spice up the evening. ;p

When I asked her when she will be needing the draft (or should I say the FINAL draft) of my script, she casually said, "oh, early tomorrow morning!" as if I didn't have other deliverables in the office first thing this morning.

So here I am typing away the lines that I will be delivering on the big event. And as I got to the middle of the document, my PDA alarmed reminding me of my deadline tomorrow after lunch: send in updated resume and credentials to my friend Carissa in DLSU. Now, if I intend to make an impression and land a part-time teaching job, might as well fix up my CV and email it tomorrow morning, so she could send it before she goes to her Obligations and Contracts class in the pm. After snoozing the alarm, 'twas my phone's alarm's turn to go off: finish draft of game mechanics for strategic planning workshop on Friday...due this afternoon. Snooze.

Deadlines. Deadlines. Do we plan things only to snooze the deadline and take/make more time, or do we let these deadlines take control of our lives?

The other day, I went to SM Home Department with my friend Chrissie. She was finally moving in her new studio-type condo unit in Makati, so she wanted to purchase a Japanese-themed bed and a couch. She earmarked a nice light-chestnut colored Queen-sized bed before we hit the food court to have a nice big helping of special La Paz Bachoy. When we came back forty minutes later to finally purchase it, a huge SOLD sticker was stuck on the headboard. It was the last piece. Chrissie was devastated and was almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I tried to comfort her by saying that it was probably not meant for her and that she would find something much better. She wasn't as optimistic as I hoped she would be after that la-dee-da bullshit script I used for cheering a friend up.

In one of our earlier conversations over a steaming cup of coffee and a plate of pasta, she mentioned that she was getting so pressured because she's approaching the big THREE-O. And when I asked her what the fuzz was all about, she said that she gave herself mandatory milestones to reach at certain points in her life. In other words, she gave herself "life deadlines". At 20-25, she should have a good stable job; at 25-30, a car, a house, and a boyfriend; at 30-35, to settle down and maybe have kids; at 35 up, have her own business; at 40 up, do early retirement. She was so resolute about all these tick marks in her road to success, that anything that would mean derailing her from it gives her butterflies.

I was stunned. I'm 29 and I don't have a car, a house or a steady, serious relationship. I am now officially a good-for-nothing yuppie. I have successfully set a legion of deadlines (and promptly met 80-90% of them) at work, and yet I have made no deadlines for myself. No wonder my Mission Statement was so vague about time frames: I have no idea when I'm meeting or doing them! Scary.

Have I been too "easy" on myself, been too wearied by all the frustrations from all botched plans, and gone pessimistic about the future? But...

Why buy a car when I'm just a 15-minute walk from my condo to the office, and thus would not have to worry about parking expense? Why stress out over buying a house/lot when my family has at least five lots (three of which are under my name), and the entire family house will be mine when my folks move on, and my sister lives with her husband in Forbes? A steady, serious relationship now when I myself am not sure if I am ready to commit and share my life with one single person for the rest of my life? Doubt that it's a superb idea.

No, I'm not too easy on myself. I'm just not being too hard on me, that's all. I guess I'm just...different. With what I've been through in my 29 years of existence, I have learned to live my life one minute a day at a time. And that doesn't go to say that I am not looking ahead. All I am saying is why pressure myself with life's "deadlines" when I'm already swamped with a lot of those at the work place?

I say you let me worry about today, build on the now, and let tomorrow take care of itself...and say, "Deadline my ass."