Lie. n. 1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; a falsehood. 2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture.Everybody lies. Your President, your parents, your boss, your bestfriend, your next-door neighbor, your daughter-in-law, your co-worker, your parish priest, your FedEx delivery boy, your investment banker, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your maid, your spouse, and even yourself. Show me a man/woman who claims he has never lied all his life--no matter how big or how small it is--and I will summarily tell you he/she lies in his/her throat...or I have finally found a canonization-worthy saint.
Back in grade school Cathechism class, we were taught about mortal and venial sins...and at that tender age, I remember questioning the nuns how telling a lie can be a venial sin (n. a sin that does not deprive the soul of divine grace either because it is a minor offense or because it was committed without full consent or understanding of its seriousness) when it was deliberately done...thus qualifying it as a mortal sin (n. a sin, willfully committed and serious enough to deprive the soul of divine grace). Sister Mary Therese failed to answer that question and just gave me a heaving sigh and that rolling of the eyeballs (which eventually became MY trademark condescending gesture). Through the years, I've learned that liars don't go to hell...they simply go to law schools and subsequently run off to courtrooms to take over souls of most innocents.
Big lie or "white" lie, why do people tell lies in the first place? Some do it to advance their own agenda. Some to protect themselves and cover up their mess. While others do it simply because they are an incorrigible case--or are compulsive liars. We have been told time and again that "a little lie" wouldn't hurt...and so that very stance has driven some or most (if not all) of us to unconscionably romance the truth.
But what exactly is the extent of a "shruggable" or forgivable lie? Is there some sort of a "Lying Curve" wherein the slope of the linear or sinusoidal curve is directly proportional to the excusability of it (e.g. the steeper the slope--or the more preposterous or outrageous the lie is--the less forgivable it is)? Is lying--in most cases--really justifiable?
Your boyfriend told you you look great despite the fact that you look like a Cabbage Patch (or Garbage Pail) Kid bursting at the seams, just so you wouldn't feel worse than you already are feeling about yourself. Forgivable?
You slept with someone who swore he was clean, and the two of you had unprotected sex. And then you find out six months later that he was HIV-positive. Forgivable?
You plugged your office pantry's 110-volt Krups coffee maker into a 220-volt socket, caused it to short-circuit and explode...and then lied about not knowing what happened when asked by a colleague about it (because you absolutely have no more budget to spare for that). Forgivable?
Your live-in partner slept with other people behind your back, took advantage of your kindness and sacrifices, broke your heart and then twisted the story and told people YOU were the one who was unfaithful, mean, a usurper, and a scum that took advantage of him. Forgivable?
Your friends, family, and colleagues keep asking if you were OK because you were losing way too much weight. You tell them you were just insomniac, stressed out and worrying a lot about things so you're losing sleep just so they wouldn't treat you differently...but in reality, your doctor just told you that you are sufferring from chronic leukemia and might have only a year left to live your life. Forgivable?
At the end of the day, lying is not meant to be justifiable. Sometimes, however, we lie because we are not sure if people can handle the truth. And most of the time, they can't.
But, hey. I'd rather you told me the truth--all rawness and bluntness of it. I'm a big man. I believe I can handle it. Solo dime la verdad...just tell me the truth. And you can expect me to give you the same courtesy.
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