Sawasdee Krab

delayed posting from March 3, 2007 11:52 PM

It all started with that song from Chess the musical, that one originally sung by Murray Head and later on by Vinylshakerz...that got me thinking one day to book a flight to Thailand. Yes. I was just listening to One Night in Bangkok, one of those kitschy 80's song that was part of my mp3 player's various remixes, when it hit me: oh, damn; I wanna go to Bangkok. Simple as that. Two minutes later, I was calling/SMSing/YMing my friends, asking who'd want to--and could--spare a couple of days off from their schedules at work to go with me, and after getting some even tentative positive responses, I filed my vacation leave, and then went online at Cebu Pacific to book a roundtrip ticket. For an affordable nine grand, I got myself a roundtrip ticket to Suvarnabhumi Bangkok Airport, taxes included. I started making calls, reservations and pre-packing packing. Yes, there is such a thing. You're gonna have to tinker with my LifeDrive in order to have a more general idea about it, however...

After a couple of weeks of waiting (yes, that damned "budget fares" promo really got me scampering for a ticket REALLY early), I printed my itinerary, my eticket, and I hoisted my three-piece luggage with me and got rolling into the domestic airport. God! That was my first time to go to the Ninoy Aquino Domestic Airport...and boy was I bummed out. It was late afternoon when we went to the airport (I had to sneak out of the office really early just so I wouldn't get caught in traffic that time), and the pre-departure procedures were a killer. So, was it just me, or were the international and domestic flights sections were in one and the same area?! Like, does that really work out for anyone? 'Cause it totally does NOT work for me. And jeezus...the last time I went on an international flight was when I came home from my Bali-US trip (Oh, that in itself is a novel, so ask me about it!)...and it was not this strict. This time, I thought I had to remove my shoes twice, undid my belt buckle thrice, and went through screening about the same frequency. I asked myself, what the hell's all that for? It's not even a US-bound flight! And why am I being asked to remove my shoes and belt AGAIN? Could I have made a deadly weapon materialize in thin air or out of my feeble body right after I got out of the first screening? Why didn't they just throw in a full cavity search, and included a canine sniffing session while they're at it? And oh God, please! You mean, I couldn't even bring with me my Kenzo Perfume bottle? How the hell am I supposed to smell immaculately yummy when I deplane if I can't even splash myself with it...because it's in my freaking checked-in luggage??? Or my toothpaste-mouthwash combo for that matter?! Jeeezus. The things you'd go through just to collect more international boarding passes! (OK, OK, I was kidding there.)

We arrived rather late at the Suvarsomethingsomething Airport and our host Alejandro (aka Jun) and his household help "Misis" were there to pick us up...which was really very great, because as I later found out, English was not exactly a staple language in Bangkok.
After a couple of minutes of driving from the airport, and some sort of crash course on Thai greetings and phrases, we arrived at Jun's VERY impressive company-provided pad--the Garden Grove Suites. I was amazed. I knew I was going to love it there...what with the interior being über-authentic Thai, and it being right smack in the middle of Soi 16, i.e. somewhere really close to literally everything--where everything's just a tuk-tuk or mtr/mrt ride away. And, oh, did I mention the to-die-for pool and health club?

Day one was spent sight-seeing. But before any of those, had to run to the mall to get a Thai sim card. My Globe roaming, for some fucked up reason, wouldn't work. From the minute I stepped out of Thailand Immigrations, I've been turning my mobile phone on and off--but the damned roaming just wouldn't kick in. So, before the sight-seeing even commenced, I was finally loading my Walkman phone my new True sim. Due to the language barrier, I ended up buying the wrong sim, and thus had to complain about it to the attendant who was moderately apt in English. With the complaints and settling process alone, they've wasted a little more than 30 minutes of my morning. And since, for some reason, nobody in the fricking mall--or the major touristy areas for that matter--could point us to where (and how to go to) the Floating Market and the Rose Garden were, we resolved to the realization that we were not going there that day. So day one was just spent on food-tripping (thank God for that) and a whole lot of clothes-, apparel-, and electronics window shopping. We somehow decided to go to the Philippine Embassy and maybe ask for some "closer to home" assistance. At 1201pm, anyway, i.e. when we got there at the gate, we were advised to just come back because, apparently, the offices were closed during lunchtime. Ah, Only in Da Pilipins. Later on, when we got hungry, I ordered this fresh mango salad, as well as authentic Tom Yum soup. I normally have a very high tolerance for spicy food...so I never really expected that about halfway through my late lunch, I would sweat profusely and my lips would feel like 'twas swollen--all because of the very spicy food that I have ordered. I think I may have consumed about three tall glasses of jasmine and Thai iced tea just to numb the burning sensation in my mouth. Later on went to Jim Thompson museum. Apparently, he's this white guy who sorta kinda introduced Thailand's rich heritage/culture, and had brought into Thailand some really interesting forms of art (OK, OK...he's really an American businessman who helped revitalize Thailand's silk and textile industry in the 1950s and 1960s...that's his "official" quickie biography, according to Wikipedia). The entrance to the museum was a tad high, so we decided to just take snapshots of us within the exterior of the museum...and left almost immediately. We capped the evening of Day one by braving long walks canvassing and checking availability of one hotel to the other. Our two girl friends Enchie and Che were arriving later that night and they still have no place to stay. Brilliant. So after booking a cheap ass pension house for the two bitchgurls, we headed home. And boy, was that hot shower following the warm bubble bath soak such a refreshing treat for me.

Day two, we hired a cab--yes, a pink one--for a good few hundred bahts, and went temple-hopping. We had maps and guides and dictionaries and internet site printouts, and we all fit comfortably in the wee pink cab. The local driver, apparently, has a Filipina girlfriend, and so does understand SOME Tagalog phrases..."putanginamo" and "mahal kita" being the very few. He sorta kinda reeks of clothes worn for the last two or three days, and if it wasn't for his bubbly personality and genuine desire to show us around and not mess up with us tourists, I would've braved commuting. Nothing a good crack in the car window couldn't fix. And besides, his 60-minute cassette tape of English songs including Backstreet Boys' I Want It That Way and OMC's How Bizarre (which, later on became our "official theme song") was really REALLY entertataining. Really. When I said "temple-hopping", I meant literally almost making "pakyaw" of all temples. Yes. 'Twas like a nightmare of a blanket coverage for all temples of Bangkok. Me being a true blue tourist, and a photography aficionado (read: ME in the picture, or ME taking the shots of sceneries), I looked forward to the temples (or WATs)...but at around 2pm, with no lunch, no more water, and the fucking scorching sun, I decided my temple-hopping frenzy had officially come to an end. The three of them can go on snapshotting and posing and gallivanting under the evil, evil sun...but I am sitting that one out. 230pm and an expensive frozen dish with rice that we nuked in the microwave later, I was feeling better. The snapshotting and posing and gallivanting under the evil, evil sun resumed. God. What you'd do for a nice Friendster picture! At almost 4pm, we've virtually covered every road, stairway, boat ride, and long walks to see pretty much all temples. I was like, what the fuck? You've seen one temple, you've seen 'em all. Short Buddha, tall Buddha, Lotus-positioned Buddha, standing/upright Buddha, reclining Buddha, golden Buddha, emerald-studded Buddha, throne-seated Buddha, no-pictures allowed Buddha...damn, they're all the same Buddha to me. And, damn, I hate untying and re-lacing, and then untying again my sneakers just to get inside the temple. Remind me again why monks wear flip-flops and sandals. After all the photo ops, we headed for home...slept the entire freaking duration of the cab ride, while Floyd kept yapping and yapping away at the passenger seat, oblivious to the idea that the three of us at the backseat did not give a rat's ass what he--and the driver--was talking about. A couple of hours later, we were at Patpong, feasting our eyes on two men fucking onstage, women in cages, pingpong balls being thrown out of a woman's vulva, and S&M at its finest onstage. How's that for the irony of just coming from a temple visit? Ah Thailand. Amazing. Makes you want to listen yet again to How Bizarre...

Day three saw us excited and in full force (me, the gurls, Floyd, Jun and Misis) headed for the weekend market, Chatuchak. I wore the most comfortable clothes and footwear, anticipating a really long day, and not to mention more heat and humidity from the Thai weather.
The whole day was spent entirely on bargain-hunting, Fanta-drinking, ukay-ukay-/wagwag-like digging through stacks of merchandise, and walking through mazes and mazes of stalls ranging from clothing to accessories to scented candles and incense to food to furnitures to rabbits and puppies. Chatuchak was Ben's [bargain] shopping heaven. Aside from the multiple orgasms of the day's shopping, it was practically a "normal", uneventful day for us...until Floyd started appearing flustered--devoid of color, that is--and declared that he had been pickpocketed and in the process had lost his passport...and mine. How many Ateneans does it take to lose two passports in less than an hour at the Chatuchak Market? Apparently, just one. With me patiently and intently biting my bitchy tongue all the way to the Visitor Assistance Center (VAC), I started calling home, and told my colleagues that I lost my passport and might take longer than scheduled before I could come back to Manila (considering it was a Saturday when it happened and the following Monday was an official non-working holiday in Thailand). While dragging all the smoke I could inhale from my stress/comfort cigarette (my very first ever cigarette stick after having stopped smoking in 2001), I realized I should make lemonade out of that lemon incident--I looked at the brighter side and saw it as an opportunity to extend my vacation. I was in that pseudo-jubilant state of mind when a uniformed officer approached the VAC Desk and produced Floyd's passport. Thank God he can go home. I still get to stay longer...which was still good. Floyd was offering to stay with me/us in Bangkok until I processed my new passport and are able to come home. I continued biting my tongue, thinking how I've saved up a lot just to buy my limited edition genuine leather passport holder, and about all those immigrations stamps I've accumulated over the years (from Palau, the US, Bali, HK, etc.) which were now gone. We were about to leave the VAC area when I was notified that my passport had resurfaced. I had mixed emotions--relieved that I still had my passport holder and my valuable stamps, and dejected with the botched plan on my extended overseas vacation. After that whole ordeal, I didn't have any more interest in shopping (which was like a Guiness Book of World Records in "impossible" for me), and so I asked that we went home. Another warm bubble bath soak before sleeping, and I was capping day three.

Our last day in Bangkok was spent hearing mass, doing last minute shopping, and maxing out the memory card of my Training Department Sony digicam (which was, technically, still mine, because I paid for it using my credit card, and to date, haven't been reimbursed for it) to take lots and lots of pictures. Evening came and we went back to Garden Grove to have a small gathering for Floyd, as it was his 27th birthday. The same cast at Chatuchak was there, feasting on Bistek Tagalog, Italian Spaghetti, fried chicken, cake and ice-cream. He seemed really happy with the surprise. Jun did a really good job organizing this supposedly-impromptu dinner, i.e. a few hours before our departure back to Manila. As Floyd blew his birthday candle on his cake, I secretly wished him well--that he wouldn't lose anybody's passport again. Ever.

Soonest we boarded the plane, I decided I was too exhausted to even flirt and heckle with the three, so I moved to a different seat. Just before the plane took off, I was snoring quietly--don't you dare oppose that, you fools!--and oblivious to the three of them taking snapshots of themselves (and apparently of me sleeping, too) in their seats like there was no tomorrow. I woke up barely 30 minutes before touchdown at the domestic airport. Back to reality.

Now, scamper off. I still have 300 photos worth of Adobe Photoshop magic to do.